GLEEk? Not So Much...

I've interviewed Amber Riley from "Glee" but I'm a bit embarrassed to say that I have NEVER watched an episode of that show.

I get enough bad covers of dismal pop songs watching "American Idol".

Wow. I can't believe I typed that. But Amber was a doll. She's super cute and I'm sure she's terribly talented.

Too bad she's not on "Gossip Girl." I watch the HELL out of that show.

LEGEND!

OMG! I totally met Chaka Khan. She's so diva. It was pretty hilarious. I liked her. I met Mo'Nique to. She was super pretty and soooo gracious. It's nice to meet nice people sometimes. Everyone is usually so bitchy in the world these days.

I think people should learn to brand themselves the way she did. Think about it: "I Feel for You" came out in what? 1984? However, every time you hear that song, you think of her. You hear her name and you think of her and her face and hair and that song. Me? Mostly I think about Turbo and Ozone, but that's irrelevant. That song was the smartest thing she ever did.

I need a theme song. It can be called "Chubby Eb". Seriously. If my ass gets any bigger, that's what they'll call it.

Blinded by the Light

Um, Adrian Grenier is literally the MOST attractive man I've ever interviewed. His eyes are like mirrors. And I'm really vain. So I just want to stare into his eyes.

Everytime I see a picture of him, I lose it. Cancers. Cancer guys are heartbreakers.

Sidebar: What is that weird smell in my house?

Giving is Nice

I've been donating money to this charity called Heifer International. I think that giving people the opportunity to be sustainable on this earth is the greatest gift of all.

I also would hope that in my hour of need, people would do the same for me, but it's been my experience that they don't. Moving right along...

I watched some kids rolling around and playing in the grass outside my apartment today. Then one of them picked up a piece of crap and smashed it in the other one's face. Moments later, the father came banging on my door. Either he wanted me to let his kids use the wash room or he wanted to cuss me out about the dog shit in the first place. But neither is my fault. These Valley-trash a-holes and their dogs are to blame for the crap. And if he thinks I'm letting those Bebe's kids into my place, he's even dumber than they are.

Poor Little Dress

I was bored today, so I decided to play dress-up. I put on a Betsey Johnson dress that I had and it doesn't fit. Or maybe it would if I had an extra set of hands to zip it. But I don't.

It's a shame, too, because I never got to wear it anywhere. I should donate it to a teenager who can't afford to buy a prom dress.

Neighbors to the North

Canadian indie rock is GROSSLY underrated. Sloan, I'm talking to you.

"Cant Face Up" is the jam, yo!

Happy Birthday, Ted

My man is 46-years-old today. And he's STILL the hottest thing in town. Happy birthday, Keanu Reeves.