The Last Good Day of the Year

I'm listening to this great song by the British band Cousteau called "The Last Good Day of the Year." I love this song. It's very summery. But I just like the idea of leaving one year behind and embracing a new one.

Here's hoping this one is good. I'm not mad at 2010; I just could've done without a lot of the stress and disappointment.

I don't have anything cool or sexy planned tonight. Just the same old boring ritual of burning candles and my annual tarot card reading. I think if I'm up I'd like to see Snooki being dropped from a ball on the Jersey shore. I loathe that show, but I think she's funny as hell. Just the concept of them lowering a hoochie in a gigantic ball onto the pits of hell (New Jersey) is too much!

Still, I know me. I'll probably just sleep through the entire affair.

So This is Xmas?

I woke up this morning and was in a surprisingly good mood. I'm not that into the holidays anymore. But I was happy at least. I got a lot of writing done and that put me in an unusually charming mood. Then, my neighbors happened by with their putrid little dogs who proceeded to poop the remaining color out of the grass in my front yard.

Ah, the hillbillies and trash of Glendale, CA. Where would this indie rocka be without you?

OUCH!

OMG! OMG! OMG!

I just stepped on a bunch of rusty tacks I used to do voodoo love spells on Jake Gyllenhaal. I'm gonna get occult tetanus. OMG...

Problem Neighbors

My new neighbor had the audacity to corner me recently and demand that I give him the use of my garage. He tells me that he can't afford Public Storage so he expects me to give him my garage. First of all, deadbeat, if you can't afford Public Storage, what in hell makes you think you can afford what I'd charge you for the garage? What kind of white trash motherfucker does that, anyway? (apologies to the other "white trash" people of higher moral fiber).

To me, that's like going up to a perfect stranger and asking, "Hey, douche, can I get your social security number? My credit's bad and you look like yours is better."

This guy is even more of a deadbeat than the last crazy person that rented that apartment. And that woman was an admitted crackhead.

I sometimes think my landlady is doing this on purpose. Of all the people who wanted to rent that unit, she gives it away to a shady loser in foreclosure with no manners and poor moral fiber.
Way to go, Rosemarie.

Beach Bums

I don't really understand the culture of beach bums. You see, I'm more of an "English countryside" kind of gal, myself. I adore trees and pretty flowers and lush greenery. I like being able to look out to a pleasing vista and see all kinds of hills and mountains.

But it seems like everyone in Los Angeles is obsessed with the beach. I don't get that. I'm not mad at it, either. I'm just saying it's kind of weird.

I thought about buying a turkey today, but decided against it. Here's why: I will cook a bunch of food for myself--food that I don't even really like in the first place--just for the sake of saying I did it. Then, I will sit in my house, disgusted with myself for having wasted the money and for the harsh smells pouring from my refrigerator.

At least that's what happens whenever I order pizza. I don't like meat. I should quit it again--COLD TURKEY.

(Wow, that joke was corny, even for me.)

Soap-Box Statement of the Day

I understand that polygamists are supposedly tied to a number of practices that are allegedly unfair and harmful to women and children. For that reason, I am pro police and local authority interest in their doings.

HOWEVER, if a first marriage is the only one recognized by law, then why can't people just keep marrying and marrying as they see fit? Because all the other ones won't go on the books anyway, so what does it matter?

I find man-law quite confusing at times...

Happy Birthday to Ned Freeman and Andy Weenig

Y'all are gettin' old...

(I'm just sayin')

Happy Birthday to Me

Well, I better enjoy this year while I can. It's my last year as part of the MTV generation.

Next year, I move into a different demographic filled with bitter old hags. Mazel tov!

Family Drama

My grandmother keeps sending me these pathetic and sad letters urging me to write her. It's offensive. This, from a woman who's been bad-mouthing me for years and turning up her nose at me every time I walk into the room.

Now all of a sudden, she learns how to work Google, sees I've done all the things I said I had and I guess, wants a piece of the pie.

There is no pie for you, old lady. Leave me alone.

Writing

I became a writer to avoid all the pitfalls that come with holding a regular job. Writing is insular; something that doesn't require team dynamics or ass-kissing. Or so I thought.

Since coming to Los Angeles, I've found that most of the people I encounter are very competitive. Waiters and waitresses try to one up each other by dissing each others restaurants. Comedians trash talk each others clubs. Hell, even unemployed people brag about who gets better benefits. This behavior extends to writers.The writing community here is so mean. These people seem to think it's a race to the middle. I overheard a conversation recently where one writer told somebody else not to talk to me because I wasn't "one of them."

This guy is a blogger for a site that he owns. Translation: He lives in his mother's basement writing about Lord of the Rings all day. Meanwhile, I had a job and a corner office at the L.A. Times. I sometimes have to put shit into proper perspective for people who live with their heads up their own butts.

Don't let the black skin fool you, assholes. I'm just as, if not more, legit than you. Just check my resume.

I Miss That Guy

Sigh...

Watching old SNL reruns. I used to have the most divine boyfriend, Eli. He and I used to love to watch old episodes of SNL together. What a cool guy. I wonder what he's up to now. Probably married with kids and terribly happy.

Boo!

**Actually, this is a picture of Eli and according to the Washington Post, he's an actor and this is a still from a play he was in.

Haven't Heard Much

I was one of the thrilled masses when I learned that the healthcare bill had been passed. However, I'm not hearing a lot of people talking about it. This recession has taken the intelligent conversation out of so many circles.

Now, all people do is talk about how broke they are. It's frustrating. I'm interested in healthcare and knowing what to look forward to and what to balk at. Even the mainstream news is light these days. Say what you will about Dan Rather--that dude stood for something and at least he cared about his work. Journalism is such a murky terrain these days.

If it doesn't have an agent or a publicist behind it, you never hear about it.

PLG on VH-I

Just heard that one of the SICKEST skaters of all time--Pierre Luc Gagnon--is going to be on a new reality show on VH-1. STOKED! That guy's the tits. And CUTE...

Numerology

They say that five is the number that shakes up all the other numbers in numerology. Nothing can bring a five down. It's the number that shakes things up and means change whenever it appears.

I don't know whether to like or hate fives, but I'm still hoping today is a good one just the same.

More Improv

I'm thinking about getting back into it. But I have such bad stagefright nowadays.

Sting's Birthday

I don't now why I know today is Sting's birthday. Actually, I do. I used to date this guy named Mike. He's a cinematographer--totally cute. But a complete tool. It's his birthday too. That's why I keep thinking about Sting. I thought I was just going crazy for a minute there.

I'd like to build a time machine and go back to when the Police were a hit band, only do so as an adult. That way, I could could groupie Stewart Copeland. He was soooooo dishy. I like long legs on men. He had great legs and wore such tiny little shorts.

hehe...

The Social Network

I'm sorry, but I wasn't as blown away by this film as everybody else seems to be. Let me just say that if it weren't for the score (which I saw was done by Trent Reznor), this movie wouldn't be half as compelling as it is.

And why is it that Jesse Eisenberg looks the same in everything? Can't this kid FOR ONCE do a film where he's in a suit and not in a hoodie, t-shirt, cords, sneakers or a blazer with patches on the elbow? This man needs Armani in his life. Or something. He should play a hipster in a film. Or a mod.

High points for me were Armie Hammer and Andrew Garfield. They made the movie. If Oscars go out for this one, they will be top contenders. But I'm disgusted by the suggestion that Justin Timberlake deserves consideration.

He should be thankful to have an acting career and leave it at that.

Speaking of Facebook, I'm so over it. I can't believe I got suckered into a FB page in the first place. It makes me so unhappy being so accessible to people like that. All these people I don't know and don't like are able to find me online and it makes me uncomfortable. This blog at least gives me an outlet for being able to speak my mind (although, admittedly, I do censor myself--A LOT). I don't like what's going on in the world with regards to some of these technological "advancements."

It's like that Judge Judy saying, "Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rain."

GLEEk? Not So Much...

I've interviewed Amber Riley from "Glee" but I'm a bit embarrassed to say that I have NEVER watched an episode of that show.

I get enough bad covers of dismal pop songs watching "American Idol".

Wow. I can't believe I typed that. But Amber was a doll. She's super cute and I'm sure she's terribly talented.

Too bad she's not on "Gossip Girl." I watch the HELL out of that show.

LEGEND!

OMG! I totally met Chaka Khan. She's so diva. It was pretty hilarious. I liked her. I met Mo'Nique to. She was super pretty and soooo gracious. It's nice to meet nice people sometimes. Everyone is usually so bitchy in the world these days.

I think people should learn to brand themselves the way she did. Think about it: "I Feel for You" came out in what? 1984? However, every time you hear that song, you think of her. You hear her name and you think of her and her face and hair and that song. Me? Mostly I think about Turbo and Ozone, but that's irrelevant. That song was the smartest thing she ever did.

I need a theme song. It can be called "Chubby Eb". Seriously. If my ass gets any bigger, that's what they'll call it.

Blinded by the Light

Um, Adrian Grenier is literally the MOST attractive man I've ever interviewed. His eyes are like mirrors. And I'm really vain. So I just want to stare into his eyes.

Everytime I see a picture of him, I lose it. Cancers. Cancer guys are heartbreakers.

Sidebar: What is that weird smell in my house?

Giving is Nice

I've been donating money to this charity called Heifer International. I think that giving people the opportunity to be sustainable on this earth is the greatest gift of all.

I also would hope that in my hour of need, people would do the same for me, but it's been my experience that they don't. Moving right along...

I watched some kids rolling around and playing in the grass outside my apartment today. Then one of them picked up a piece of crap and smashed it in the other one's face. Moments later, the father came banging on my door. Either he wanted me to let his kids use the wash room or he wanted to cuss me out about the dog shit in the first place. But neither is my fault. These Valley-trash a-holes and their dogs are to blame for the crap. And if he thinks I'm letting those Bebe's kids into my place, he's even dumber than they are.

Poor Little Dress

I was bored today, so I decided to play dress-up. I put on a Betsey Johnson dress that I had and it doesn't fit. Or maybe it would if I had an extra set of hands to zip it. But I don't.

It's a shame, too, because I never got to wear it anywhere. I should donate it to a teenager who can't afford to buy a prom dress.

Neighbors to the North

Canadian indie rock is GROSSLY underrated. Sloan, I'm talking to you.

"Cant Face Up" is the jam, yo!

Happy Birthday, Ted

My man is 46-years-old today. And he's STILL the hottest thing in town. Happy birthday, Keanu Reeves.

Good Things

Sophomore fashion line, I'm lovin' ya. I don't know why this stuff isn't more popular. Actually, I guess it's because everyone can just run and get stuff from places like American Apparel and Urban Outfitters. But I really love these clothes. They're super cute and the advertising looks great.

If you're a stalker and you wanna get in my good graces, buy me something from this line. Then get the hell away from me because I have no interest in knowing you. Sorry.

Predictions

I'm so totally psychic. I'm gonna predict that James Franco gets an Oscar nod for 127 Hours. I'm also gonna predict that he gets to host the ceremony.

Last time I saw him, he said something funny that tipped me off to it happening.

...yes, I'm being cryptic.

I'm Burning Up

Damn! Is this California or hell???

Girl Scout Cookies

Dear Thin Mints:

It's been years since you and I were last together. I miss the way you smell; I yearn to feel the cool, breezy appeal of your sweetness on my lips. I also love the way you used to get me things. Remember? You helped me realize my potential as a young Brownie when I was one of the top sellers of Girl Scout Cookies in my school. Oh, dearest...you were the wind beneath my wings.

Damn, boo. I wish I knew how to quit you.

Griffith Park

It's official: I am CONVINCED that all those cars parked in Griffith Park during the day time are closet gay house husbands looking for some down-low lovin'. Why else would a bunch of random gentlemen being sitting in cars on the north side of the park where NOTHING is going on at 1 in the afternoon?

Don't tell me they're nature buffs, either. The only nature I've ever seen over there are the coyotes that run down from the mountains and torment the bike riders.

That part's actually pretty funny now that I think about it.

Literary Pursuits

I'm still working on another book. I don't know why I feel so compelled to be as honest as I am in this book, but it's just happening that way.

If people really knew what went on in my head, they'd run screaming. LOL! That's not true. I think they'd give me a hug and be a lot nicer to me and to each other, though.

Anyway, I'm thinking I'll want to release it as a self-help book. I think people can learn from each others secrets and sadnesses.

Who am I kidding? Most people will probably just trash it or talk badly about me behind my back. Such is life...

Things I've Learned

So apparently, mothballs are a humane way to keep lizards and crawly bugs out of your house. So if you walk past my bungalow and it smells like your grandma, now you know why.

July 4, 2006

Jon Rolston. Echo Park. Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins.

That's what I was doing 4 years ago today.

I had a crush on Jon and was totally stalking him when he worked at Little Joy and I parked my car in Echo Park and listened to "Born Secular". Just as the music gets all big and pretty, the fireworks started and all the hipsters came out of their houses and watched from the streets.

And I cried. Because Jon thought I was a loser.

So Many Press Junkets...So Little Time

Ah, the summer movie blitz is on, people. Here we go.

Summertime

Feels like it's been summertime forever. California seasons are quite strange, really. Sure, we don't get the traditional winter, spring, summer and fall. But we do get hot, cold and rainy.

I'm interested in seeing when rainy's gonna happen. I like that one.

I am Exhausted

What is the deal with people in California? Actually, allow me to be more specific--people of Glendale, CA--that joystick looking thing to the left of your steering wheel is a left-turn signal. Please use it. I am not the least bit interested in rear-ending your cars. Even though I'm getting the impression that this is what you want by your reluctance to use this helpful tool.

sigh...

Whatever Happened to Small Wonder?

Has anybody seen Vicki?

Random Thoughts

I wonder how the current economy is affecting the farmers of the world. I should Google it...

Strange Conversation Starters

Somebody asked me the other day who I thought was the most influential world leader is. I really had to think about it. In terms of current foreign policy, I would say Obama, strictly because he's working to unify the superpowers and has really embraced the Asian markets--who I feel are the actual superpowers. Sorry USA.

But I would say that historically, I think it would be Queen Victoria or maybe Henry VIII. Because they ruled so many territories in their day it was ridiculous. When you think about the stuff that was under English rule (India, Australia, various strategically placed island nations) it's pretty inspiring.

Icky Match.com

A friend of mine told me that she met her husband years ago on a dating site. So I joined one and have proceeded to meet some of the most low-rent, social deviant bastards on the planet.

A note other singles: people are on dating sites for a reason. And that's because they are horrible people. I am alone for a reason. And that's because I never learned how to play well with others.

I think I need to just learn to be cool with being single. I'm always miserable in relationships, anyway. I always feel like I'm settling. Truthfully, I always am!

Maybe I should just be gay. All the girls who like me are totally cute, educated and well-off. All the guys who like me are broke, short and have questionable hygiene. So there it is. Anthropology at its worst.

From Tears to Laughter

So, I just got through watching My Sister's Keeper. Duuuuuuuude! What the hell???? That movie was so sad. And it was unexpectedly good. The trailers made it look like a bad Hallmark flick. But not the case.

Now, I'm watching Zach and Miri Make a Porno. Opposite end of the spectrum. This movie is hilarious and cool and sexy and awesome. Justin Long is literally the funniest mofo on the planet. And I don't think that's hyperbole, either.

This morning, I interviewed Adrien Brody at the W Hotel. It was for the new movie, Splice. There's a girl in that movie named Delphine--she's French and quite possibly the most beautiful girl on the planet earth. Also got to meet the director--Vincenzo Natali. He commented on my Blonde Redhead t-shirt. He was very cute. VERY.

Anyway, I need to get involved in this movie. I'm seriously about to start crying again. WHEW!

Very Angry

I'm extremely angry with the lack of coverage that Hillary Clinton is getting as Secretary of State. I remember seeing Madeleine Albright EVERYWHERE, but I can't recall the last time I saw Clinton on a national forum, talking about foreign policy.

My biggest fear with her getting this job was that it would be a way to condescend to her and not allow her to realize her full potential. She should be president. She's sooo smart.

Still, I knew that she would hold the role that she has and it's a commendable one. She just needs to build / expand her brand, I guess.

Spring

I'm doing pretty well. Haven't caught the flu in a couple of years. Hermit life is a healthy life.

I'm Gay

April Fool's!

Biggest Void in My Life?

This guy. I miss this guy. He used to make me laugh so hard.